Many writers have shared their thoughts with the public:

"There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you." - Beatrix Potter

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." - Anaïs Nin

"Sharing your writing, being enlarged by others' writing, is what makes you feel famous." - Gretchen Bernabei

"Writing is not an amusing occupation. It is a combination of ditch-digging, mountain-climbing, treadmill and childbirth." - Edna Ferber

"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." - Ben Franklin

"One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones to form themselves into the proper pattern at the right moment." - Hart Crane

"There are three rules for writing. Unfortunately, no one can agree what they are." - W. Somerset Maugham

Return and Earn Dirty Looks

So I recently decided to check out the new Return and Earn system – thought I’d do my bit for the environment and earn extra cash at the same time. My online search said there was one at my local St Vincent de Paul. I drove round the back with my boot full of empties and quizzed a bloke about where to put them and how to collect my dosh. He said I had to take them in through the front door on the main street, not through the back. Oh sure, he might as well have suggested I walk in naked. I could just see the local newspaper headline 'Middle aged mother and business woman seen carrying massive tub of empty alcohol bottles into Vinnies to no doubt fund her next binge...'

I then found there was another option at the back of Woollies, much more discreet – excellent! I drove off to find the carpark almost full and a queue of people lining up with their empties. There were two distinct queues - glass on the left, cartons, plastic and cans on the right. The former, with 2 lanes, had one bloke with a few boxes of beer bottles, the other, also with 2 lanes, had a line of females queuing at both with an assortment of seemingly blameless domestic items. The signs might as well have said ‘Alcoholics’ on the left and ‘Goody Two Shoes’ on the right.

I staggered up with my massive tub of empties (saved over several months, naturally...) and started inserting them into the hole. In the reflection I could see a couple of women staring at my tub and me. It crossed my mind to turn around and say “God it was a good party!” or “Husbands hey?” or “I only drink to raise money for my favourite charity!” but thought bugger that, they can think what they like. I have no shame. At least I only had one tub and not several boxes like my clearly alcoholic buddy next to me.

I then noticed a woman at the Goody Two Shoes queue putting multiple large cola bottles into the plastic machine, I could tell she was trying to look as nonchalant and guiltless as me but, by the set of her shoulders she was definitely imagining all the other mothers shooting daggers at her back. “Ooo….look at all those cola bottles! Fancy giving your kids that much sugar to drink! At least I’ve only got juice bottles – no soft drink bottles here!” (The fact that juice contains around the same amount of sugar as soft drink is beside the point, it’s all about appearances isn’t it...) I took comfort in the fact that at least I’d had a fun time consuming my empty calories, all she got out of all that cola was fat and rotting teeth.

Looking around it was a great study in human nature. I noticed everyone had either a shifty or holier than thou look about them - except the bloke with the beer bottles – men are completely oblivious to female scrutiny and judgement. What a carefree and easy life they must lead! He could have been gaily shoving old bong bottles into the hole and just focusing on the job at hand, not remotely aware that anyone was observing him. It really was like airing your dirty laundry - all your guilty pleasures out in the open for public inspection.

Anyway, at the end of this completely galling experience I collected my $3.10 voucher from Woollies. Was it worth it? Would I do it again? Well, I learnt that you have to either really love saving money, be a committed Greenie determined to do the right thing or channel your inner bloke – drink, be merry, be oblivious and repeat!